CONCLUSION

Taking an exhibition down, and being able to take a dispassionate view of it, is a really important part of the process. I have taken a long look at the exhibition, and really wonder what I was trying to say? 

Bob Stone (MA tutor) once said that my style of work was "worthy" and i didn't understand? 

Maybe now I do.

I impart my thoughts and ideas.

But i tend not to do it in a way that opens me up personally.

Giving facts, information, interest and hopefully enjoyment.

But not giving away your soul. 

Publishing " Origin of Species" opened Darwin's heart a little more than he was comfortable with. "Voyage of Discovery exhibition in 2009" began to open mine, and i recognise now that I closed the door again very quickly after it, and immersed myself in my new house/bolt hole in Scarborough.  

Darwin wrote the worm book, which was uncontentious and which he described as a 'curious little book of small importance'. It feels entirely appropriate that i learnt a really important lesson at the same time as producing an exhibition which was "a curious little exhibition of small importance". 

The exhibition was of ENORMOUS importance to me personally.  The catalogue was time consuming, detailed and repetitive. As was the work. Compulsion but not passion. Waving not Drowning.  

INTERESTING THAT I REMEMBER IT THE WRONG WAY ROUND. 

Maybe to create really relevant work I need to feel like I am drowning in it, not just cheerily waving as I pass by. I am not drowning, but maybe I am waving goodbye for a while. I don't think that Helen Birmingham, mixed media artist will be missed very much. Helen Birmingham, gallery/venue provider, and Helen Birmingham, Contemporary Textile Artist will continue and I think they are valued and valuable.  I think Helen Barter might be making a return visit, writing some poetry too.

Not Waving but Drowning

By Stevie Smith

Nobody heard him, the dead man,

But still he lay moaning:

I was much further out than you thought

And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking

And now he's dead

It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,

They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always

(Still the dead one lay moaning)

I was much too far out all my life

And not waving but drowning. 

Brian McCann. 1983    

Not Waving But Drowning, Richard Demarco Gallery, Edinburgh

SUMMARY

The Movement and Action of Worms is a visual interpretaion of Charles Darwin's last pubished book, 

Darwin, C. R. 1881. MOULD & WORMS: The formation of vegetable mould, through the action of worms, with observations on their habits.

The process of creating the exhibition, was as important as the exhibition itself. I wanted to follow a methodical, controlled approach to the work, and it became apparent very quickly that the work would need to be made in sequence and in situ. Unlike the work for 'Voyage of Discovery' exhibition in 2009, my focus was not trying to describe a scientific principal in visual terms.  In this exhibition, my interest was in interpreting Darwin's words, a precis of the book in its entirity, using visual images. 

Process

Firstly, and fairly obviously, I read the book.

I then took each of the section headings from the book.

These became the titles of the 30 pieces of work. 

I then re-read each section, and selected a passage of text, which 'spoke' to me.

The gallery was prepared and all 30 frames were hung in position. Empty.

The selected words were attached temporarily to the frames.

At this point, i discarded the book itself, and focussed soley on my selected passages.

I tried to absorb the passage and its meaning, and then to represent the vision in my head.

It was important to me that the work followed in the same order as the sections of the book itself.

When I curate an exhibition in the gallery it is normal to move the works to suit the space.

In this exhibition however, it was vital that the pieces of work 'worked visually' in sequence.

I started at No 1 and worked my way around to No 30.

I think this gives unity to the whole, and ensures that there is visual cohesion.

It was important to me that viewers were told of the sequence, but were then left to explore.

Some people read a book cover to cover, some dip in and out, and some just glance.

Outcome

Many people made comments like "well i never knew worms were so interesting".

This is basically the same sentiment as Joseph Hooker, the 19th century British botanist's, "I must own I had always looked on worms as amongst the most helpless and unintelligent members of the creation; and am amazed to find that they have a domestic life and public duties!”

I believe that the exhibition works on different levels. 

.  The images themselves stand alone, as valid pieces of abstract art, and need no explanation.

.  The titles of the pieces help to focus the viewer's attention, but are not prescriptive.

.  The passages help to explain 'where the artist was coming from', and lastly,

.  The whole exhibition adds to the viewers knowledge about worms and Darwin, and may encourage more reading about environmental and scientific issues. 

A Successful Exhibition and another Ambition Fulfilled

I am so pleased with the way my exhibition The Movement and Action of Worms was received. Such great comments, and it stimulated interesting conversations. More than that, it brought new people to The Studio Gallery, (some of whom felt like potential future friends which is always good!), and old friends returned again.

The catalogues in a tin were VERY WELL received, and I sold several at the Preview Evening, and more throughout the week. My intention now is to try to move the exhibition on, to another gallery. Watch this space and keep your fingers crossed.

 

What a great weekend.

Well, its now Monday evening, after what has felt like a very long weekend, and a totally needed day doing absolutely nothing today! Literally! Stayed in bed, only to get up for water and lunch . 

Coastival which included the Preview Evening of the Movement and Action of Worms exhibition, is finished, and by all accounts was the most popular and successful yet. Well done to everyone involved. 

 

My exhibition "The Movement and Action of Worms" is open again this Thur - Sun 23rd Feb 11.00am - 3.00pm, and after that by appointment until 14th March. I am now hoping to find a gallery further afield who will take the exhibition later in the year. I had some really encouraging comments in the visitors book, which included:

"Really impressed by the focussed intensity and interpretative nature of the show."  

"Inspired collection, each one distinctive and also unique." 

"Worms are great!"

Thank you to everyone who has come along so far, and made this a really enjoyable experience for me. It has made me realise what a good life I have made here for myself in Scarborough, and what inspirational and supportive people I have met. Thank you. Good times, and good friends are ahead, and there is so much great stuff to look forward to in the coming months - it certainly won't be quiet!

The exhibition made me realise just what a control freak I am! I was already very aware that i have compulsive tendancies - it is afterall how i create my work. Inspired by Darwin's study at Down house in Kent, i once described my own work as "Methodical experiments, repetition and obsessive compulsion, combined with a comfortable but ordered homliness." I think this still applies, but i hadn't really realised that my need for control extended into how the audience should view the work. It's obvious to anyone who knows me probably, but was drawn in stark focus for me this weekend.  When people came to the exhibition, i found myself feeling really anxious, if they came in and started looking at the work out of order - to the extent that i felt compelled to redirect them to Image no 1, hopefully explaining my reason for doing so. I don't think that any of my audience were offended, quite the opposite I think, and actually, once i had explained my preferences, i was very happy for them to 'do their own thing' anyway.

I will document my reasons for directing my audience at a later stage, but today I wanted to say how proud i am of myself. It was an enormous milestone, personally and professionally to get this work completed and exhibited. I hope that the work can now go on and build its own relationships with new audiences and feel less controlled and contained by Helen Birmingham.

Tins completed

25 x slates with wire

25 x Microscope slides

All now into tins. The following photograph shows the tins being filled, one item at a time.

Edition 1  The Studio Gallery Scarborougih, February 2014 <edition of 25 boxes

Treasure boxes/catalogues £25 each

Limited Edition Catalogues x 25

25 x tea sample tins

25 x catalogue : set of cards showing 30 pictures in exhibition

25 x limited edition collages specifically for Scarborough exhibition catalogue

25 x antique watch glasses

25 x textile/stitching samples

25 x leaves tending to skeleton

25 x archaeology fragments brought up by worms

25 x pieces of slate with wire (to be completed)

25 x microscope slides with burnt paper (to be completed)

Worm Tins Underway

Today was a day for final decision making, and when it came to it, it was easy to make. Obvious to make. There was only one decision TO make. The tins i am using for the 'catalogue' are going to be some of my precious, treasured tea-sample tins. Even though I am finding it hard to think of letting some of them go, the work needs them.

I will make an initial set of 25 tins. Each one will contain a tiny handmade box (shown on yesterday's blog), with 30 cards, each showing one of the pieces of work in the exhibition. There will also be one-off "treasures" in the box,  and one from a series of a numbered edition of small collages, made from scraps collected while making the exhibition.

My last exhibition "Voyage of Discovery" in 2009 was really successful, and to say that I was disappointed to sell all 30 of the pieces would sound silly. But ...... 

I was disappointed not to have documented the pieces better, and sad not to have the opportunity to exhibit them as 'one piece' again. I do however have a piece of work, which was made from a collage of scraps collected while making the exhibition, and of course the catalogue.

It seems appropriate (and ironic) that at this exhibition i will be selling the collages (hopefully) - as part of a collectible 'worm tin' catalogue/record of the exhibition and therefore i will retain the 30 original pieces. I hope to be finalising another venue for the exhibition later in the year. 

OK so less than a week to go until the preview. But i am in control. 

Nearly there - but very nearly wasn't!

Well this has been a difficult week. On Sunday evening my last post was saying that I was going to have a day off, then get stuck into making the artist's books in tin boxes, which I had been planning since last June! I kept putting it off and putting it off - finding all sorts of displacement activites, some wholesome, some not-so! It took a real effort to try to look at what was troubling me.

I finally started in earnest very late on Wednedsay evening, when next Friday's preview started feeling as if it was breathing down my neck! i thought i knew what i was doing. Goodness knows I've been planning it for long enough. So i started printing off pictures; re-binding the books I'd bought to go in the tins; and finding samples of off-cuts to stick into the books. BUT i wasn't enjoying it. 

IT FELT REALLY CONTRIVED and I hated it.

But that threw me! What else was i going to do? Even if i am lucky enough that anyone wants to buy any of the 30 main pieces in the exhibition, i am determined that the originals are not for sale and are to stay together, in order to be able to move the whole exhibition to another venue, later in the year. It was the thing I've been worrying about subconsciously for weeks, and finally  i had made myself come face to face with it!

i knew very quickly that i would rather have nothing to sell at the previev, rather than produce something I wasn't happy with. So I stopped forcing myself, and cried!! A lot!! 

Then I spoke to my sister. She is the only person whose opinion I really really trust. I don't like her opinion sometimes (!) but I trust her.

She suggested that the boxes contain small treasures, like when we were children. She remembered a piece of moss and an owl pellet in hers. I have a really strong memory of a tiny book which she had in her box. It had photos of my aunt's wedding when we were bridesmaids. We were about 6 and 2. It was tiny - the size of contact prints - and her ownershiop of it was my first memory of covetting something.

So the idea of fhe tiny book/set of images in a handmade handprinted box came into being. It will have a copy of all 30 of the exhibition pieces in it, together with an original piece of artwork/collage and other treasures, all in one of my very precious tea-sample tins.

I am enthusiastic and inspired again! Just in time!!

30 images: 1 piece of work = FINISHED

Self imposed deadlines are pretty good - even if it means its gone 10.00pm and i'm only just having my lunch!! And yes, I know that isn't healthy, but the feeling of euphoria which goes with having finished the work on time, is priceless!!

 Now i have nearly two weeks to get the limited edition artist's books, the catalogue and labels done, before the preview evening on friday 14th February. (In spite of my Coastival poster saying 14th may!!!) 

The last 6 pieces were a bit of a worry, even though i was ' talking up ' my confidence. I've been experimenting with using tile grout behind glass, and was enjoying some of the results  i was getting. But i was beginning to worry that the technique was going to be too hit and miss to have left making the images for the exhibition until so late: and what was i going to do if it all went wrong. Hence leaving a final week for eventualities. I'm not saying that I'm won't be really grateful for it, but actually the set of images Nos 12 - 17 were so fixed in my mind's eye that they came into being relatively easily.

So, lunch (at 10.30!)  then a bath, then bed. i will take a final check on the gallery in the morning, take the afternoon off, and then get stuck into the artist's books on Tuesday. X x hooray! See you in a coupke of days, with hopefully as positive an update. Good night. X

2 weeks to go

i've had a much better, more focussed day today, and i can see that the exhibition IS going to come together in time. Thank goodness. 2 weeks from now will be the Preview evening.

No 21. Number of Worms: There must exist 53,767 worms in an acre of garden.

21 of the 30 pieces are now in place, and with a concerted effort over the coming weekend, I hope that all the pieces will be done, finished and photographed, ready to make up the catalogue, and the limited edition artist's books next week, and a week to spare for eventuallities. Feeling good and positive! X

Why can't I focus?

In a previous posting, I wrote:

"The main part of my work is in the preparation and thinking process. In some ways, the end result has been established long before the work becomes reality . . .   so does it actually need to happen . . .?  "

Well as usual, i have been thinking about the statement, and, yes ONE part of my work IS the thinking process, but although i may think that the end result has been established before the work becomes a reality, in actuality the making of the work is just as important, and throws up all sorts of questions which I had not been aware of. The reason I am frightened of it is that I worry I will decide it is "old hat" before i finish it. I must remember that it may be "old hat" to me, but it is fresh and new to its audience, and the audience's relationship to the work will give it new life, and hopefully a renewed sense of purpose.

So, I think what i meant to say in answer to my own question, is that although the content of the work has been established - and in some ways that is the bit which really excites me - it is part of my nature that i become obsessed with certain things, and it is during these obsessions that the majority of the content is identified. However, my obsessions do not last, and therefore if the work is not physically made at the time of the thinking, I easily lose interest. THAT is why I am finding it so hard to put this exhibition together! My mind has moved on several stages, and even through several more possible exhibitions and projects. Looking back on my notebooks, sketches and thoughts, I can see the progression: the evolution of my ideas. I MUST hold onto it.

Putting this exhibition into reality is a VITAL part of documenting my ideas and thoughts. Appropriate then, that the thought which has re-captured my attention, is taking the form of an artist's book to accompany the exhibition. I need the images of the 30 chapters, as final pieces in the artist's book, so obviously I need those images to be in a camera and then on paper, and not just in my head.

My thoughts are a bit of a jumble today, which is why this post is the way it is. But if this blog is to be a record of the process of making the exhibition, i decided it was important to add it, and leave it, jumbled and confused.

Hopefully tomorrow will be more focussed again. Time is running short!!!

I have managed to get the new batons in place, had a lovely lunch with a new, but very special friend, and written a new poem, which i will present at Scarborough Poetry Workshop tonight. So not a completely wasted day!

Image Height and Lighting

Well, ive had a disjointed, but nonetheless productive day today. Having moved on to the images which are to hang in the front gallery, it very quickly became apparent that i was going to have to adjust the height of ALL of the images - once the gallery spot lights were turned on, it didn't matter which angle they were set at, the reflection of the light on the glass made the images distorted and in some cases completely illegible!

So, tomorrow, before i start anything else, i will have to invest in some more battons for the wall, remove the frames from their current positions, cut and reposition the batons, paint them . . . . .  then rehang the frames, and off I go again. So pleased I have left sufficient time to allow for such an eventuality. Shouldn't hold me back for too long, and it will be more than worth the effort.

Going to have an early night tonight, ready to do battle with the battons tomorrow.

Finally it's coming together!

Time goes so fast and i seem to waste so much of it. BUT - in two days of complete focus, i have finally produced 10 really good pieces, and I am photographing them for a limited edition artist's book as i go along. Copies of the artist's book will be for sale at the exhibition. 

Although the images are all in my head (and have been for some time) - and I know exactly what i am trying to achieve - the pressure I have put on myself really relates to the 30 pieces being ONE piece. Although it should have been obvious, i had not quite realised the significance of this. If I was in the usual positiion of curating 30 separate pieces, i would be able to change their order to suit visual relationships between pieces, however, because an important part of the concept of this exhibition is that the work is describing the specific contents of a book,  it is important to me that I stick to the order of the chapters. So I have found myself having to create and hang the work, sequentially, in the gallery space!! Thank goodness there are only a few meetings taking place in there before the preview on 14th February.

 I also found that I had to move the display cabinets from the centre of the room. Visually they were rather like finding advertising stapled into the middle of a double page spread in a magazine you are trying to read.

No longer terrified of having no work

Well, all the advertising has been done. People have said they are coming to the Preview on 14th February at 7.00 - 9.00pm.  And I have been terrified that the work, which i have been planning for 3 years, wasn't actually going to materialise . . . . . But thank goodness, it seems to be falling into place. I should learn to just TRUST MYSELF. 

The main part of my work is in the preparation and thinking process. In some ways, the end result has been established long before the work becomes reality, and then making it reality is quite scary. Does it actually need to happen, or is it then too much about ME, too personal to want to share, or expose.? It becomes a very intense experience, which I sometimes want to hide from. 

Someone asked me yesterday whether artists create work for themselves or for an audience? Adding: "Presumably it is about communicating - so needs an audience, ultimately?" My answer came, suprisingly for me, without apparently giving it much thought, but it seemed to come from my subconscious and sum up exactly how I feel about my work:

 "I think art is like your child. 

You make it for yourself and have a very intimate relationship with it, 

but it only fulfills its potential by having relationships with others."

Here is the first piece in the exhibition: appropriately called "No 1: Sites Inhabited"

2014 The Year of the Wife or the Artist?

i know this is strange title for this blog, but since my last posting the following things have happened, and have made me really stop and think about what is really important to me at this stage in my life:

1) Re-decorated back gallery

2) Converted sitting room back into front gallery

3) Continued work and research on Darwin

4) Moved my bedroom into the old studios

5) Started work on the new basement kitchen/workshop/library/meeting area

6) Christmas and New Year have come and gone, essentially alone by choice

7) Spent a final weekend away with my husband

8) Made positive reconnections with my daughter and my mother

Fairly obviously, being a good/happy wife depends on being able to dedicate quality time to your husband. Being an artist requires a similar level of commitment, and if nothing else, the last 20 years have taught me that I'm not very good at doing these two things at the same time. One gets left out and then causes resentment. The way I work is all or nothing! Another artist said to me today that I put them to shame with the amount of work i have done over the last couple of weeks. But my point is that we all have to make choices. I chose not to do Christmas, and have now chosen not to do marriage either.

2014 is going to be a year dedicated to my creativity, The Studio Gallery and making an independent living. "The Movement and Action of Worms" exhibition is the keystone to this commitment.

I really like this quote by T S Elliot: 

" Last year's words belong to last year's language,

 and next year's words await another voice."