Why can't I focus?

In a previous posting, I wrote:

"The main part of my work is in the preparation and thinking process. In some ways, the end result has been established long before the work becomes reality . . .   so does it actually need to happen . . .?  "

Well as usual, i have been thinking about the statement, and, yes ONE part of my work IS the thinking process, but although i may think that the end result has been established before the work becomes a reality, in actuality the making of the work is just as important, and throws up all sorts of questions which I had not been aware of. The reason I am frightened of it is that I worry I will decide it is "old hat" before i finish it. I must remember that it may be "old hat" to me, but it is fresh and new to its audience, and the audience's relationship to the work will give it new life, and hopefully a renewed sense of purpose.

So, I think what i meant to say in answer to my own question, is that although the content of the work has been established - and in some ways that is the bit which really excites me - it is part of my nature that i become obsessed with certain things, and it is during these obsessions that the majority of the content is identified. However, my obsessions do not last, and therefore if the work is not physically made at the time of the thinking, I easily lose interest. THAT is why I am finding it so hard to put this exhibition together! My mind has moved on several stages, and even through several more possible exhibitions and projects. Looking back on my notebooks, sketches and thoughts, I can see the progression: the evolution of my ideas. I MUST hold onto it.

Putting this exhibition into reality is a VITAL part of documenting my ideas and thoughts. Appropriate then, that the thought which has re-captured my attention, is taking the form of an artist's book to accompany the exhibition. I need the images of the 30 chapters, as final pieces in the artist's book, so obviously I need those images to be in a camera and then on paper, and not just in my head.

My thoughts are a bit of a jumble today, which is why this post is the way it is. But if this blog is to be a record of the process of making the exhibition, i decided it was important to add it, and leave it, jumbled and confused.

Hopefully tomorrow will be more focussed again. Time is running short!!!

I have managed to get the new batons in place, had a lovely lunch with a new, but very special friend, and written a new poem, which i will present at Scarborough Poetry Workshop tonight. So not a completely wasted day!