CONCLUSION

Taking an exhibition down, and being able to take a dispassionate view of it, is a really important part of the process. I have taken a long look at the exhibition, and really wonder what I was trying to say? 

Bob Stone (MA tutor) once said that my style of work was "worthy" and i didn't understand? 

Maybe now I do.

I impart my thoughts and ideas.

But i tend not to do it in a way that opens me up personally.

Giving facts, information, interest and hopefully enjoyment.

But not giving away your soul. 

Publishing " Origin of Species" opened Darwin's heart a little more than he was comfortable with. "Voyage of Discovery exhibition in 2009" began to open mine, and i recognise now that I closed the door again very quickly after it, and immersed myself in my new house/bolt hole in Scarborough.  

Darwin wrote the worm book, which was uncontentious and which he described as a 'curious little book of small importance'. It feels entirely appropriate that i learnt a really important lesson at the same time as producing an exhibition which was "a curious little exhibition of small importance". 

The exhibition was of ENORMOUS importance to me personally.  The catalogue was time consuming, detailed and repetitive. As was the work. Compulsion but not passion. Waving not Drowning.  

INTERESTING THAT I REMEMBER IT THE WRONG WAY ROUND. 

Maybe to create really relevant work I need to feel like I am drowning in it, not just cheerily waving as I pass by. I am not drowning, but maybe I am waving goodbye for a while. I don't think that Helen Birmingham, mixed media artist will be missed very much. Helen Birmingham, gallery/venue provider, and Helen Birmingham, Contemporary Textile Artist will continue and I think they are valued and valuable.  I think Helen Barter might be making a return visit, writing some poetry too.

Not Waving but Drowning

By Stevie Smith

Nobody heard him, the dead man,

But still he lay moaning:

I was much further out than you thought

And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking

And now he's dead

It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,

They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always

(Still the dead one lay moaning)

I was much too far out all my life

And not waving but drowning. 

Brian McCann. 1983    

Not Waving But Drowning, Richard Demarco Gallery, Edinburgh